I’m the one, I’m the only one

I’ve had this song on repeat for days now (the video is laughably weird), but I also thought that title was very fitting for the latest edition of, ‘I need a pep talk and maybe I can pep talk you in the process.’

The past two weeks have been messy. Par for the course when you’re freshly back to reality from vacation. Honestly though, things have gone wrong at work, home, in my brain, and most definitely in the world.

I’ve had some kind of subtle disses and dismisses as of late, and they’re really bugging me. It’s one thing to worry about your clothes and your hair, and your weight. It’s an entirely different, and much heavier thing to worry about your character and your personality.

I’ll be the first to admit that even as an adult, I don’t like being left out. I also don’t like leaving people out. This is not something you would come to learn under many layers of other crap in getting to know me. It’s out in the open. I like to be included; I like to include others. Because I do think this is an obvious weak spot of mine, it always seems particularly malicious when I find myself left out. It seems intentional and personal. It immediately makes me question my ‘volume’ as a person. Was I too loud? Do I tell too many lame stories? Do I offend people? Does someone think I’m mean? I mean, this list could go on and on as my brain floods with potential reasons that people may not like me.

I’m transparent enough with myself to admit that the fear of being left out has actually caused me to push people away. I’m not really naturally social. You’ll never catch me throwing a party or organizing an outing. I’ll give any excuse to miss out on things other people have planned, too. It’s simple: I can’t feel left out if I convince myself I never wanted to be included in the first place.

You know what, though? If you’re out there feeling the same way, and I know that other people feel this way, why don’t we embrace a total cliche?

It’s their loss.

Believe that. Believe it like you believe the sky is blue. If you can sit back and reflect on your day and honestly say you weren’t a total asshole, then yeah, it’s absolutely their loss. You, the only you there ever was, or ever will be, are wonderful just as you are. You might be loud mouthed and unfiltered. You might be quiet and reserved. You might have political opinions that no one gives a shit about. You know what you have going for you? You are the reason someone smiled or laughed today. You are the reason your pet feels loved. You fulfill the lives of your parents. You are something that someone looks forward to, every second of every day. 

So yeah, plan your time with those who value it. Brush it off when you’re left out. Appreciate yourself always. (maybe even a little extra when other people forget to) Most importantly, do your best to recognize when you could potentially be making someone else feel left out. The world could really benefit from some conscious kindness.

xoxo just leigh ann and that’s enough

P.S. Here’s a photo of me surrounded by people who have always made me feel valued for simply being my truest me. Thanks, guys ❤

Photo cred: Alex Chaney