Hi! I’ve been MIA for a month and it has flown by! We were guests at a wedding out of town, had a fun trip to the zoo, cared for friend’s cute cats all over town, and had about a million car problems. Summer has been sweltering chaos, both good (family, friends, Taylor Swift, Hanson, giraffes) and bad, but if I’m being really honest, mostly bad, haha.
I am in a funk.
I touched on it a little bit before, but this summer has been rough. My mom was involved in a freak accident that landed her in ICU for a week. I drove home and spent a few days in that scary room with her, and I honestly still feel queasy thinking about it. Aside from some weird sensory things, she will fully recover. My closest friends have dealt with illness, job loss, fertility issues, and now a freaking hurricane. All of the above has weighed heavy on my heart. Emotionally, July, August, and now September have felt an awful lot like a never ending January.
And, trivial, but did I mention my car?
Anyway, Thursday, I’m sitting at work, with a headache, eye twitching from no sleep, dissolving intestine pills under my tongue, feeling like crap, when it comically dawned on me that I have not been taking care of myself at all. I’ve just been buckled down, chugging along, pushing emotions and health and whatever else aside while I watch tv and go to work and generally float through my life like the ghost version of myself.
For me, not taking care of myself usually starts out small: Eh, I don’t need to floss today. I’m too tired to use the eye drops. I can clean the bathroom next weekend.
Then, it escalates: Eating a peanut butter sandwich and potato chips for lunch all week is totally fine, right? I don’t need water, or soda, or juice even; what is hydration? Is walking to the cupboard to get Oreos considered exercise? Why sleep eight hours when I can just sleep four?
Because I’m not in college anymore. That’s why. Because I’m not looking forward to a three hour nap between classes. A fall break. A Christmas break. Because I’m an adult and I have responsibilities, and arguably the most important among them is to WAKE UP and freaking take care of myself! (And, to not be such a whiny little baby complainer, since I know you were *justifiably* thinking it!)
So yeah, this is not a cry for help. This is just my lazy, burnt-out on life, adult way of totally not handling things. I hope you find this relatable, and I have a good feeling that some of my circle most definitely will.
Friday, I set my weekend (and go forward) intentions, and I’m ready to kick this slump’s ass and move on from what has been a crappy summer. Because, everyone goes through tough times, and I have no right to ride them out like a sloth when I am fully capable of taking action and manning the wheel of my own happiness.
I’ve drank a ton of water this weekend, gone for a run, gotten plenty of rest… ish (Chuck is so obnoxious in the morning), sent some prayers up to the big guy, cleaned the house, and written this blog all before 2pm on Sunday.
You know what else I did? Put out all my Halloween knickknacks and emotionally (and decoratively) closed the weird chapter that has been summer 2018. And no, I’m not wishing away your summer. I’ve seen the memes, and you’re more than welcome to pass me a margarita, just make sure it’s pumpkin spice flavored.
Feeling sunnier already, and will hit you guys with something beauty related and much lighter soon! So long sweet summer!
xoxo Laughing at Linus (out in the pumpkin patch!)