2020: A Lesson In Intentionality

Alternative titles include but are not limited to:

2020: WTF?

2020: Let Me Out

2020: Where is 2021, already?

Let me just apply a disclaimer to this post… What’s about to follow may imply that I’m cool as a cucumber about what’s going on in the world, and that I’m handling it completely rationally (this sentence did not age well). The truth is though, I just sobbed hard all the way to the grocery store at 9pm to get cream cheese… during the apocalypse. So yeah, not cool, not rational, not okay. (P.S. I wrote this post well over a week ago and keep forgetting to publish. I am now afraid of grocery stores. Carry on.)

Anywhoozles. I’ve been reading a bunch of posts about all that’s going on being a, dare I say, divine intervention of sorts. Like the universe screaming at the top of her lungs, “Slow the fuck down, assholes! And shut up! AND, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, TREAT EACH OTHER KINDLY! Oh, and spend less time on your phone! Kthxbai.”

And while I don’t disagree with any of that, I subscribe to the Christian view of life (don’t be fooled by the universe’s potty mouth… sorry), and my daily devotional all but smacked me in the face this morning:

All this to say, no matter what you believe in, which side of the bed you woke up on, whether you’re a social distancer or a social canoodler, I do think this unprecedented time is a prime opportunity to do some introspection. To get intentional. To refocus. To push away fear and panic and fervently believe that there’s a greater purpose here. 

Introspection? Turns out, I’m still kind of a shit person, despite my 2020 resolutions. Like literally, I’ve misunderstood a huge project a couple of my best friend’s have been working on for months. Okay, maybe I’m not a shit person, but I definitely should be paying more attention to the people that matter to me. How’s that for a self discovery?!

Intentionality? I’m painfully ashamed to say that I’ve been saying, “I’m going to call my grandma tonight!” and tonight got put off and off and off until I literally thought the world might end. That’s a heavy one, but on a lighter note, if I’d been really intentional with my time last Friday at work, Monday might not have sucked so much. Intentionality can be applied to and enrich all parts of our lives.

Refocus? Gosh guys, my brain and heart have just been sloshing around in a  fishbowl for the better part of a year, and even though I know the people and things that matter most to me, I find myself distracted by a lot of the unimportant noise. (Instagram follows/likes, a great fitting pair of pants, the number of people reading this very post… SOS.) It’s time to get real and find some clarity!

Pushing away panic and fear? Well, for me, that’s where trust in The Big Guy comes in. I’m praying and pondering and trying to walk closer to Him in all of this. If that’s not your cup of tea, totally fine, but I really do encourage you shut the fear down as it comes creeping into your thoughts.

Did any of this make sense? How we doing out there? Just know, all the weird emotions surging through your veins right now, notably the one that’s like, I cannot believe this isn’t a dream, you’re not alone! Let’s get through this together, but like very, very, far apart physically.

xoxo no Panic! at the quarantine