Boo! Honestly, I have no idea where to start because the fact of the matter is I haven’t been here in a long while. But, I’m nothing if not horrified by change, and so dropping this tradition did not feel like an option.
Where have I been? Well, that’s a tale, lol. Simply, doing a lot of work on my mental health. And I would encourage you to drop whatever extraneous things may be in the way of working on your mental health, too! So, if that’s all the info you came here for, you can stop reading, but stop back for the next 12 days of spooky fun. If you’d like the gory (that’s very dramatic) details, then… here goes!
Last October, I started going to *therapy*, and I’m the biggest fan. Seriously, even the most well-adjusted person you know would benefit from therapy. And the least well-adjusted? Well, I can give you a firsthand account of that, haha.
Therapy isn’t new for me! I saw a therapist regularly in 2013 after a health scare involving my BOObies (TMI? lol), and it was life changing, the therapy that is. So, why this time around? Well, I’ve mentioned the whole almost-killed-the-cat story in passing, but that unfortunate event (don’t worry, Chuck is all good!) had a devastating affect on my mental health, and really amplified some unhealthy habits I’ve had for as long as I can remember… Turns out not everyone has to take pictures of their unplugged hair straightener, turned off stovetop, and closed garage door before they leave their homes, who knew?!
When those habits that I’ve carried with me since middle school evolved into a nightly, hour-long kitchen/bathroom/hallway routine that was well documented through 300ish photos, I actually started to feel scared. I felt like not doing these meticulous checks would result in a catastrophic loss of life, but I also dreaded carrying out the habits, so my already extremely screwed up sleeping schedule was seriously compromised. One particularly bad night, I dragged myself up the stairs crying and exhausted, and told Kyle I was scared. It was time for a change, and so I started therapy. And now, there’s no looking back!
Anyway, we’re treating it like OCD, in case that wasn’t clear. This actually lends a lot of clarity to other lifelong habits I’ve had like skin picking, and the grossly morbid inner monologue. Ugh.
Then in January, the dermatologist casually told me I have androgenic alopecia, and let me tell you, that was the final straw. And I get it, that sounds so ridiculously trivial, but when you’re faced with an irreversible change to your physical appearance that is happening 100% without your consent… it’s a tough feeling. I’ve also mentioned in the past that I’ve generally not had luck with antidepressants, but the combination of January, a shower drain full of my once thickish hair, and a camera roll stacked with pictures of closed doors, my PCP and I decided one last college try at medication would be wise. And here I am! On the other side!
Okay, other side is wildly optimistic! I’ve still got nighttime picture taking drama, and my hair is definitely thinning, but things are getting so much better. I’m finally emerging from the antidepressant induced haze (that’s big time for real), and I’m just handling things better. Even very recently, I’ve strategized ways to improve my sleep, exercise, check my personal email (why does doing that give me heart palpitations? Who knows?), and I’m feeling energized and equipped with healthy coping mechanisms.
Long story short, I’m good! I don’t share these things for sympathy or to ignite worry in anyone, I just share in hopes that if you or someone you love is going through something similar, brighter days are ahead! Autumnal days are ahead, even!
Tomorrow? Going to get right into our traditional spooky content.
xoxo just a basic witch
P.S. Big thanks to Crystal for always keeping this space beautiful and on theme ❤
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