Blogmas Day 20: A(nother other) Grown Up Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

How’s is going? How’s the wife? Is the weather cold there too? Are they really named Dunder and Blixem?

In regards to last year, I totally forgive you for not letting me turn 29 again. Partly because I have a good heart and partly because I was told that’s not really your arena. Anyway, it’s been a big year, and I already know I’m getting coal, but if you have it in your heart to give a few more gifts, I’ve made it a little easier for you by sending a list!

1. Botox. I know we all sat back and made fun of all the real housewives, but what we didn’t realize is that one day we too would be in our thirties, and our pesky little forehead wrinkles would be the bane of our existences. Or like, do the elves have some kind of special serum?
2. I’ve watched at least ten Netflix Christmas Movies this holiday season and almost all of them feature a former Disney starlet with legitimate acting credit. In the interest of budget cuts and literally no one making the Disney connection but me, can I please star in one next year?
3. You did hold up your end of the bargain on finding vegan pizza that’s delicious, but hello, still waiting on delivery to my house!
4. Again, I don’t want this, but in the spirit of giving, Kyle really wants a puppy brother for Chuck. And, in the spirit of receiving, if Chuck gets a puppy brother, could you possibly sway her alliances to my side of the bed? Cool.
5. Could you have Rudolph nudge @thisiskidsamen in the direction of a Christmas song? Please and thank you!
6. Also musically, I’ve heard rumor across the internet that Taylor will release another album sooner than we think and I’m just really hoping it’s back to her country roots.
7. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.
8. I cannot find So Delicious Dairy Free Cold Brew ice cream anywhere anymore, and if some showed up on my porch, I wouldn’t be mad!
9. Thanksgiving was kind of a mess of sickness here, there, and everywhere, so hoping we can all stay healthy enough to have some good family time for Christmas.
10. Finally, and as always, Santa, can you make sure to keep this magic alive and well with me:

xoxo Santa, can you hear me?